I give up

Intentions for Inner Liberation

The following ‘I-give-up’ intentions are reminders. They help us remember the tendencies, needs, and conditioning: like shackles that keep us chained and cause feelings of separation and unhappiness. They show us what we resist, what we feel we ‘must’ do, what we attach ourselves to, and what we cannot surrender to. Many of our beliefs (especially in personal interactions with others) lead to an inner stance of resistance, opposition, stubbornness, and separation, causing various conflicts and misunderstandings that further strengthen identifications (and thus the ego). Intentions for inner liberation can free us from the yoke of our conditioned personality that constantly takes over unconsciously and makes us forget our true Self.

Reading and understanding these ‘I-give-up’ intentions is one thing; genuinely remembering them when they are relevant is another. Acting on them with a deep desire is yet another matter. We’re talking about acting from a deep desire of our essence, driven by our Feeling Center – our devotion to ourselves and to pure action – supported by our Reasoning Center, our clearly formulated principles. This is: giving up through intelligent surrender, in compassion with ourselves, dedicated to our Self.

First, Truly Understand

Firstly, we need to deeply understand these ‘I-give-up’ intentions if we want to engage with them. Understand with our heart, which goes deeper than just grasping with our mind. What does it mean to follow such intentions? What are the consequences if, for instance, we change our personal life path based on these intentions? How do we feel about it? Do we face loss or grief? What exactly should we do or refrain from doing because of these I-give-up intentions?
Subsequently, we can remember this approach when it’s relevant, i.e., at all those moments when one of our inner limitations (due to conditioning) automatically surfaces. Because they do, daily, over and over again, without pause, unless we examine them.

Practicing these intentions doesn’t so much lead to ‘doing’ something but more to ‘letting go’ or not doing.
As soon as we realize that this method initiates a process of liberating detachment that will free us from various identifications, it becomes self-evident to let go of inner restrictive attitudes. It brings us to the natural state of our essence, which feels entirely natural. A state of Being, simply.
Continuously giving up tendencies, conditioning, and needs with devotion provides the same mental and emotional lightness you feel when coming in from the rain and shedding all your wet clothes. You might feel somewhat exposed, but also refreshingly free because what stuck to you is gone.

Observing the Cause

We can only recall and practice our I-give-up intentions if we perceive the current moment our inner turmoil arises. Perception can only occur in the Now, so when we are fully present in self-remembrance: in a sentient observation of ourselves in the situation we’re in, integrating our inner perception with that of the external. At this moment, the inner light of our discernment shines upon mental shadow creators (our emotions ‘awaken’ us to this), and this light will dispel the inner shadow by consciously and correctly dealing with these unwanted emotional-mental pop-ups of our mind. Practice is required: the repeated application of your personally formulated intentions, no matter how unfamiliar it feels. After a while, it becomes as easy as taking a deep breath.

Following I-give-up intentions might elicit deeper emotional reactions, which we can observe and must take seriously. Reflecting on them allows us to feel what lies behind the inner attitude we’re giving up and see the real cause of the discomfort, which is different from its trigger that merely presents itself in a situation. The cause might be old wounds, a trauma, or a frozen need we acquired when we were young. Following a self-formulated I-give-up intention might not instantly dissolve an identification, but with repeated application, it ensures the real cause can hide less and eventually is seen in the light of knowledge. As this is an inner shadow, it stands no chance against inner Light. It truly is an ongoing process for some time.

This is the crux:

Perceiving our restrictive tendencies, needs, and conditioning, and thus recalling the I-give-up intention, is the beginning of genuine inner freedom. You see and observe your tendency, need, or conditioning as if it’s right in front of you, in your hands. You notice the feelings that arise with it. You fully accept them, but without engaging in them, simply observing them in silence for a while… And then, you give it all back because it isn’t ‘yours’, and you surrender it to your highest Essence. As a gift. Giving up is also dedicating. In an intense posture.

. In fact, we thank our inner limitation, tendency, or feeling for further aiding us by no longer accepting it as part of ourselves. We perform a very respectful action, following what we know, and in devotion (in a certain humility) to our True stature, which is completely free and awaits us behind our illusions. This way, we can leave behind all our illusions by realizing them, giving them up with our intelligent Reason, and dedicating them to our devoted Heart. In this manner, we give up our ego, which consists entirely of illusions, identifications, conditioning, and ‘little desires’. Giving up is a highly motivated and deeply felt action from our Magnetic Center. We are fully responsible for this detachment process. Nobody else can do it for us.

Intense Desiring

Acting according to this intention (so not automatically reacting in situations, for example, from feelings or ideas), acting anew according to what you truly know, is something we must deeply desire. Because only an intense desire is strong enough to consciously override these mechanisms. Continuously strong desiring of the I-give-up intentions ensures that we remember ourselves and remain connected to ourselves. We also stay connected to our goal: living consciously instead of mechanically from conditionings and feelings. Then we can act from our personality in the right way, thus liberating, in service to ourselves and others, and no longer mechanically reactive from acquired conditionings or painful experiences.
Moreover, the I-give-up method takes us straight to our deepest ground of integrity and honesty. This is a place that’s not easily accessible. Various inner mechanisms are often lurking once our sensitive dedication vanishes in the busy pragmatic life of ‘doing’.

Let it be

Even if applying an intention seems to have ‘failed’ (this idea can certainly arise) because our conditioning appeared to win, we just observe it and don’t judge it: we don’t pass judgment! Observe this neutrally. Let it be. Every next time we can act anew according to what we know (or choose not to act). We can therefore repeat this intention. Repetition makes liberation stick, provided the intention remains spirited and the understanding devotion optimal. Without it, no liberation can occur.
Shadows disappear by letting light shine on them. This is the light of our Reason, our intuition, and our discernment, from our inner Knowing. Truly giving up and dedicating eventually leads by itself to an intense experience of lightness and always end this in gratitude.

Go!

Below are many examples of I-give-up intentions. These are just examples (!), although they may apply to many people. Start by practicing a few (relevant to you) intentions. Formulate intentions as clearly and concisely as possible and let your cluster of intentions grow! Many of the intentions below apply to many, but even more intentions are strictly personal for your own emotional-mental situation. So create your own personal list of identification pitfalls. Initially write them down as soon as you notice them. Then practice them with as much dedication as possible, because only dedication will make them effective, as this surrendering method is a method of the Heart, only pre-formulated by the Head.

  • I give up all judgments about my body
  • I give up my resistance to changes
  • I give up my need to be in control
  • I give up my tendency to blame others
  • I give up imposing my will on others
  • I give up trying to change my partner
  • I give up living according to others’ expectations
  • I give up harming myself any longer (in any way)
  • I give up resisting the image that others have formed of me
  • I give up my self-pity and complaining
  • I give up expressing criticism
  • I give up my touchiness / intolerance
  • I give up my tendency to make demands
  • I give up my feeling of incapability
  • I give up placing the responsibility for my powerlessness on someone else
  • I give up the inner chatter and grinding in my head
  • I give up my limiting beliefs
  • I give up my tendency to want to be right
  • I give up my tendency to just keep quiet
  • I give up backing off when a situation becomes difficult for me
  • I give up my suffering
  • I give up my tendency to dramatize
  • I give up my tendency to project
  • I give up justifying myself
  • I give up trying to impress
  • I give up my non-functional imagination
  • I give up my tendency to lie
  • I give up the tendency to prove myself
  • I give up my (spiritual) mindset
  • I give up my feelings of inferiority
  • I give up my vanity / self-conceit
  • I give up my pretensions
  • I give up my need for compliments
  • I give up my feeling / idea of dependency
  • I give up being impressed by authoritative or aggressive individuals
  • I give up my need to be the center of attention and to be seen
  • I give up my feeling of pride
  • I give up my need to be liked
  • I give up every form of violence (in word or deed)
  • I give up my jealousy
  • I give up my impatience
  • I give up my indignation
  • I give up annoying myself (with others or situations)
  • I give up my grudge and rancor
  • I give up my unwillingness or inability to forgive another (or myself)
  • I give up my antipathies
  • I give up my disinterest and/or boredom
  • I give up having excuses for everything
  • I give up my attachment to the past
  • I give up my greed and desire for possession
  • I give up my attachments
  • I give up my high expectations
  • I give up my daydreams
  • I give up my addiction needs
  • I give up my traumas in empathy and understanding for their origins
  • I give up my vanity and egocentrism
  • I give up my lust
  • I give up my belief that I could lose anything
  • I give up thinking that I am what I can perceive

El salvador

There is a variation on Zelfkennis Nu’s motto – ‘Become your own life coach’: ‘Become your own saviour’. This is no empty slogan, because no one else can do the work that is necessary to free us from what keeps us imprisoned. The intentions described above are merely examples; ultimately, we choose them ourselves, based on the discomforts and ego manifestations we recognise within ourselves. If we take them seriously, formulate them accurately and practise them daily, something will change.

The practical daily exercises for self-remembering are mostly aimed at establishing the neutral observer within ourselves, thereby making self-reflection possible. They are often directed towards our relationship with the outside world. We do this for ourselves, in order to awaken through self-reflection, but others may subsequently benefit from it as a form of ‘collateral bliss’. People around us may experience that they are truly seen in their contact with us, encounter less resistance and find more silence and clarity. And perhaps some of that may rub off on them as well.

The intentions discussed on this page, however, are of a different order. They are aimed at bringing order to and purifying our minds of absurd and unnatural identifications. This involves a form of surrender – perhaps less familiar to Westerners – and the devotional offering of everything that stands in the way of our wholeness to the highest essence that we essentially are.

Surrender through sincere devotion from the heart is spoken of in many ancient teachings, but rarely in this particular way. For the discipline and perseverance required of us here do not originate from a religion or a teacher, but from within ourselves, from our increasingly powerful Magnetic Center. From a growing inner awareness of what is truly necessary. So we absolutely do not do this ‘for someone else’. We do this entirely for ourselves, through fully feeling everything we have carried within us in unconsciousness for so long and from which we are now taking a definitive leave; everything we have embraced in pain or helplessness and were unable to let go of and resolve; and everything we continued to cling to through insufficient upbringing, knowledge and understanding, thereby perpetuating our own pettiness.
With this method of intention, we can progressively filter out unwanted inner conditionings. These are self-chosen healing intentions, put into words for the purification of our psyche, which we practise again and again, from a mind that is as still and devoted as possible, wherever we may be. For our devoted, bowed posture is essentially an inner one. It need not be assumed outwardly, although doing so makes it more powerful.
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“God has given you one face, and you make yourself another…”
(…and another one… and another… and another…)
loosely adapted from Hamlet

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© Michiel Koperdraat